oh right

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt was a brilliant woman, I'm a big fan of her quotes. You caught me....I look up quotes from time to time. I like being inspired and uplifted.

Being bitter gets you no where. I can't help but feel like letting things go makes me a push over.
I contradict myself, but I know this was the right way to handle the situation.
Keep in mind, don't push it...it will only make circumstances worse.
I'm done with shady people, I'll forgive and forget.

I'll never forget how that period of time made me smile. I like that I'm not careful, it gives me more time to advance and learn.

This weekend I won't over think things.
I'm going to be conscious of my actions.

alright

I've been surprised. Still trying to decide if this is a good thing.
I can't pretend this doesn't hurt me. It's hard caring when you don't.

I've been through this too many times.

100%

The second you stop, I'll miss it.
Don't get attached.

lately

Lately I have been shedding a lot of old feelings and insecurities. Wah wah, sounds lame...but I am! Life chats with a girl in my program at school, holy we just vented away. I have never done two perms that quickly ever.

This week is going by a little slowly, I'm kind of over and done with it. I go back to work Thursday, I am pretty pumped for that. Two weeks off is bound to get a little tiring.

I've run into a few very forward people, it's pretty crazy.

I've been painting a lot more lately, I get inspired and just roll with things...then a week later I'm onto something different. I have too many things I need to accomplish this week, and not even drive to do it. But I have been getting by, and not doing so badly.

Monday I turn 18, unreal.

Damage control is coming soon.

this time

Things are going to be different. I'm putting my all into the things that matter. I'm trying to move forward instead of backwards, or at least keep on a straight path.

The new year has both; closed and opened a lot of doors for me. Funny how everything is always a trade off. I want it to be equal but it never is. I can win, but I'll always lose something important along the way. Expect the good with a little bad, and visa versa.

I've been dropped, but I know I'm about to be picked back up.

I laugh at my constant ramblings. I like being taken seriously, but I laugh at myself. I contract myself a lot but I know it.

This time I want the best.

real

I'm having a hard time coming to the realization that everything happens for a reason. I like to think of things this way: if you let me know the reason then I'll realize and understand. Does it help in your best interest? Does it better the both of us? I just need closure, justification, and explanation; is it too much to ask for? I'm just used to being so willing to letting people know what's up that I often expect the same respect. But not everyone is decent or have decent motives, and I need to keep that in mind. I just want clarity! I have a hard time with letting go, sorry.

blur

This past year has been a totally blur. I'm at a total standstill, it's irritating. It's impossible for everything to stay just as it was. I'll never figure out where I got all of the drive and motivation to persevere. I'm not entirely sure why I get so caught up in learning new things, it always seems like a good move at the time. Then I started to notice the sacrifices actually made to reach my goal. There is always a positive side and a negative side to every situation. Basically this is all very highschool. Everything only gets tougher, I just need to cope and carry on. Let's see what this semester will bring, I'm hoping for a little inspiration.